


More To Give

by nbarker1990



Category: The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6848614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nbarker1990/pseuds/nbarker1990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The past few months have been peppered with these odd little realizations about exactly why and how he loves her; it’s not some nebulous airy feeling that is just THERE all of a sudden. Blake doesn’t necessarily think that that’s a better way of falling in love but it’s maybe a bit more comfortable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More To Give

Falling in love with Miranda had been a singular moment, a direct hit to the heart, as it were, an ‘I need this woman in my life NOW’ type of thing. It’s something Blake can still remember clearly, seeing her approach him onstage, her voice and her body and her eyes and that indefinable _something_ that had sparked something in him. Her too, presumably. It had been bad timing and bad news but it had been as inevitable as him reaching for a drink at the end of a shitty day. Eventually they’d settled into something like bliss, or as close to it as one can get. Sure seemed it at the time. He doesn’t remember falling out of love but it must have happened at some point, he guesses; dwelling on the _when_ of it all makes him uncomfortable. He knows that he never even came close to cheating on Ran but he also knows that a lot of what he’s feeling now - for Gwen - isn’t exactly new.

Love isn’t something that you only have a certain amount of, he thinks; you can love and love and love and it’s no surprise that he’d learned to love his fellow Voice coach pretty darn fast. And he understands that love can evolve, start as something like friendship, become almost familial and eventually turn romantic. So maybe it’s okay that he can remember a strong affection, admiration and even attraction (it’s just an objective fact that she’s smoking hot; can’t be helped) being there since they met. 

Or maybe that’s a shitty justification for imagining what it would be like to have Gwen’s laugh (and maybe her body too) all to himself before his wedding ring finally left his finger.

 

The past few months have been peppered with these odd little realizations about exactly why and how he loves her; it’s not some nebulous airy feeling that is just THERE all of a sudden. Blake doesn’t necessarily think that that’s a better way of falling in love but it’s maybe a bit more comfortable, gives him time to get used to the idea. They’re both a bit hesitant and a whole lot of fucked up from the past year and it’s difficult enough to navigate these waters without the complications of having it be the way it was last time. 

 

He loves her because she’s a mother. 

Blake has two marriages under his belt and more than a few shorter relationships (and plenty of hook-ups, if he’s being honest), but kids just have never been part of the picture. It had been part of a vague sort of future he’d imagined with Ran but it just had never happened. It’s easy to blame her and her very direct dismissals but he knows she was right, too. At first their careers were too important and then they were finally settling into marriage and that alone time was too important. And then the end came, drawn out even if neither of them could admit it until much later. He’s thankful now that they hadn’t had children together, thinks maybe it was just part of God’s plan. Loving Gwen’s boys in a selfless, complete kind of way is easy, much easier than he’d thought it would be. They’re their own little individual people but they’re an extension of her as well, and he kind of always thought he’d had his own kids but this ain’t half bad either. 

He falls in love when she admits that she bawled and was a total mess when Apollo first word was Momma.

 

He loves her because she is relentless in choosing happiness.

She’s talked to him a lot about her marriage, and Blake is pretty sure he almost appreciates the times she acknowledges the good parts most. It’s not that he likes to think about her and Gavin in happier times (he doesn’t; he feels oddly envious of the man) but he admires that she’s so aware of her own mind and heart and is willing to tell him all of it. He’s proud that she trusts him enough to share those parts of her past, and he tries to open up to her as well, even though sometimes it feels like he’s just setting himself up for pain. Gwen has had more rough breaks than he can count on both his hands and yet he’s seen her grow these past few months, becoming more and more confident. She’s happier too, embracing her freedom and enjoying rediscovering those aspects of herself that had been dimmed. He can’t exactly take credit for that but he’s loved seeing it, sharing in it. She deserves so much more than what her ex had to offer her, and he wants to be the man who gives it to her. 

He falls in love when she curls up beside him in bed and teases his bad mood away with terrible, corny jokes. 

 

He loves her because she’s a weird combination of traditional and edgy as fuck. 

Blake’s pretty sure he’s never met anyone who’s quite as sexual as Gwen is. The first few weeks of their ‘relationship’, they spend getting to know each other physically in every single way imaginable plus another few. It’s a turn-around from what he’s used to because they’ve already bonded emotionally, and he thinks maybe that’s why everything feels so different when they finally make it to bed (or the wall or the floor or the couch, as the case may be…). He’s always been attracted to assertive, powerful women and she’s no different. She’s that way in bed too, for the most part, and doesn’t hesitate to boss him around. Which he has no complaints about. He remembers the first morning after that first night, though, remembers being surprised when he’d woken up to find Gwen blushing furiously and stammering her excuses (I don’t do things like this, she’d claimed, and he knew it was true). She’s a good girl in every way that counts, and he likes that she still often says her prayers before bed as much as he likes that she talks filthily when they’re in that same bed a few minutes later.

He falls in love when she meets his Mom for the first time and immediately starts showing off her pictures of the boys and demanding to see what Blake had looked like at that age. 

 

He falls in love with Gwen over and over again before he admits it to her, and there have been times he's wanted to tell her to stop being so loveable, that he’s getting in too deep and that if he can’t make this work (he’s two down so far), he’s going to need serious therapy. Or a noose. He changes his mind one day, though, when she tells him that, in spite of herself, she thinks she might love him. It’s different than her casual ‘I love yous’, sprinkled liberally in her conversations with almost everyone she knows. She’s hesitant and scared and he wants to assure her that he won’t let her down, that he loves her too. 

So he does.


End file.
